Every other weekend, my husband and I make a 6-hour trek to visit our oldest son down in Ohio. My husband, being the shy sensitive type, is not one for much in the way of conversation, which makes these trips awkward at best. I, being the more talkative of the two of us, can get downright frustrated (to tears) when we travel for long stretches of highway with nary a word between us. Twelve hours of silence can really put me on edge!
But this weekend, we talked and talked and talked. And then we talked some more.
I had been praying for this breakthrough for a while. During the week before our departure, my husband suggested we create a list of topics to discuss on the trip so he could be "prepared". Me? I don't need preparation. I was great at impromptu debates and speeches in school. Give me a topic and I can talk for miles. Not so, my husband. So we made a long list. And we hit nearly every topic during our twelve hour ride.
We talked about football, politics, and my upcoming live event for mom entrepreneurs. We discussed marketing ideas, gardening, and the very sensitive topic of finances.
Then it happened: The Game Changer.
My husband said, in a somewhat off-hand manner, "I admit that choosing to keep our finances separate when we married was a mistake."
Whoa.
I had to stop him. This seemingly trivial statement of hindsight changed the entire playing field of our marriage. Not only because he acknowledged making a mistake (draw your own conclusions, ladies), but because he vocalized it in a serious conversation with me.
I thanked him and observed how that small acknowledgment was actually a major Game Changer in our relationship. I then noted how often those kinds of off-hand, seemingly insignificant moments are the real Game Changers in our lives (and our businesses).
For me, there are BIG moments that changed my life - those are the easy ones to recall. Childbirth, marriage, moving across country, choosing a home-based career. Those are some of the defining moments of my life.
But let me tell you about a Game Changer that, once you hear the story, it might just change your mind about the details of your life.
I met my husband through an online dating service. We were 'chatting' and we planned to meet for the first time, just an hour later. It was very impromptu, with no real planning behind it. He lived about an hour away, so I figured we had plenty of time to make it to the appointed destination, which was closer to my home than his.
Not only did he arrive slightly early, he held in his hand a flower he had purchased on the way.
That flower was a Game Changer and neither of us realized it until this past weekend.
You see my husband watched me to see how I responded to the flower. It was nice, and I thanked him for it. As the server came to our table, I asked for a glass of water (no ice) for the flower. I didn't really know what else to do with it, since I didn't want to put it on the chair or the table because it might get squished. So I cut the stem, right there in the restaurant, and placed it in a glass of water for the duration of our meal.
Doesn't seem like much, does it?
But my husband was impressed with how I cared for that flower - how I almost seemed to cherish it. I didn't see it as just a toss-away gesture that some guys make when they're trying to impress a girl on a first date. I was impressed that he managed to be on time AND stopped on the way to bring me the flower. We didn't plan it, so he didn't have time to strategize, and he's not one to just keep a flower on hand in case an "emergency date" turns up on his calendar.
That flower, that seemingly insignificant gesture, led to 9 dates in 2 weeks' time. Nearly 7 years later, we have a 4 year old child and a 5 year old marriage that would not have happened, had it not been for that little flower.
Game Changers aren't the huge, defining moments of our lives, but very often, they are the details that make the difference.
It's the admission of guilt, which doesn't change the damage done, but paves the way for forgiveness.
It's the invitation extended to a stranger to join you for lunch, in an otherwise crowded cafeteria, that paves the way to a big business deal.
It's the unexpected in the commonplace.
It's a small kindness that pays a tremendous return - without expectation of any kind.
Those are the Game Changers. Be assured that these small details are everywhere - if we're looking for them.
What are the Game Changers in your life? Can you point to the seemingly little things that made a big difference in who you are and what your life has meant? As a mompreneur, it is important for us to recognize that event the smallest gestures can become catalysts to our ultimate success - or failure. It's all in how you choose to look at it.
Copyright 2010, Lisa Robbin Young.
Founder of The Renaissance Mom, LLC, Lisa Robbin Young is a business coach and marketing consultant for mom entrepreneurs. Her mission is to help women bring balance and peace to their life & work, without apologies. Her website, http://TheRenaissanceMom.com features free videos, helpful articles, podcasts and other resources to help business moms find more focus, accomplish what's really important, and keep everything in balance.
The Renaissance Mom Experience is a 3-day live event held each year in the fall. Mompreneurs from across the country come to experience the inspirational speakers and discover hands-on, how-to strategies to build a life and a lifestyle that they truly love. Learn more about the live event at http://www.TheRenaissanceMomExperience.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment